I am not sure but I am seriously considering redirecting this blog or termionating it entirely because it seems that I do not have the time anymore to scour the internet, verify the information I do obtain, then try to make it a blog friendly format.  I just don't have the access time to do all the research necessary to keep this blog on it's noble track.  So I have a few choices... some of which include posting new stuff when I do get it and be irregular about my posts, changing the direction of the blog and make the core of the blog about my personal needs and struggles, or some combination of the two.  Or maybe neither.  Right now I am unsure of my ability to do anything because of the instability of the current situation.  Too many directions to go.  Too many choices and none of them all too good.  We are all considering a total relocation to either the other end of the state, or to a neighboring state.  The future is uncertain, and there are very few people who thrive in the current environment of stress, and chaos.

I realize that some of my most recent posts may seem a divergence from the goal and target of my blog.  But, then one cannot legitimately discuss the capability of living comfortably below the poverty line without addressing some of the unique, and not so unique stresses, and other aspects of life below the $19,900 level that used to be considered the poverty line.  Funny thing is that I heard that the povery line was increased in the last year to approximately 25k.  So even though I do want to find strategys to survive as working (or as is the truth with my Wife and I... disabled) poor. I know that not to discuss the family stress involved would be a mistake.  I do try to use the bible as a guide to keep my conscience focused.  I also know that I am often falling short of the guidance provided by Christ and his apostles.  So I seek your indulgence when I post things about my family and the stress we are experiencing.

Thankful for all Christ gives me in abundance,
Michael Conway the Wondering Wanderer
wonderingwanderr@gmail.com

Generally my wife and I are exceptionally frugal, but we recently transacted business with Hughesnet.  For the most part I can't really complain.  Heck it is fulltime Internet access, and I have yet to exceed my 10gig download access, but in a matter of three to four hours my wife was able to burn through 20% of the months allotment.  Now I am not that upset mind you, but I have yet to come to the knowledge of what the fair access speed is.  I know even will full unlimited access there are "packets" of information that seriously lag, so I am wondering what fair access in our area is.  How much lag I am going to notice.  We will see and we will come to an understanding, and adapt.

Peace Out to all who read this, and even those who don't.

Well one of the signs of the "end times" according to the Bible is the "Lack of Natural Affection" and with this most recent school shooting we are definately seeing that.  This one persons rage was not turned against a random crowd, or some people who had alienated him recently or even in the past.  Nope he poured out his rage against Kindergarten/First Graders, and their teachers.  These children had probably not known the sweetly venomous sting of unkind words towards one another.  They embody what could to one degree or another still be called 'school age innocence' and alas someone had to go gunning them down.  As if struggle and adversity don't come early enough in life lets emotionally scar you by seven.  And, by some reports this individual may have killed their own mother first.  I sometimes wonder when Jehovah will have had enough and just call the game.

I have learned a new respect for cross-posting when it comes to my friends on facebook.  Mainly it comes from a peak that more than doubled my page views on my blog withing a two day time period.  I was impressed at the power of social media even with the meager number of friends I have on my page.  I actually know personally all the people who are on my facebook page.  I know this post is particularly off topic but I thought that I needed to acknowledge that my friends heeded my call to come and at least observe.  That is something that I am thankful for today, and sometimes having something to be thankful for is more important than riches, or overt comfort.

I do have to admit that sometimes living below the poverty line has its unique stressors.  I know most families stress over money, but in the personal case to me, my wife and I  both live on disability (she has had neck and back surgery, and has nerve conduction issues, and I have had two open heart surgeries, several strokes and not quite a small bag of MH issues) so our income on disability is VERY limited.  In fact we have a little less than $1000 a month to live on, and honestly some months our bills exceed our meeger income.  Luckilly our bank only charges a singular overdraft fee, not a fee every day you are overdrawn so when we have to overdraft it is only one fee, and not a pile of accumulating fees. 

But, money is definately a stressor in our lives, and we have from time to time fought over money.  The trick is learning to get past it.  We (my wife and I) have two aduly children in the house.  Our daughter is good with money and figures.  She is also oddly enough is free of the compulsion to buy on impulse.  So now our daughter is in charge of the finances, and she is doing well with them.  It has aleviated some of the stressors involved, and since she is not quichk to spend everyone elses money we don't have a money pit. 

Some of the things that help though is that we do live in an economically depressed region so rents are cheep relative to other areas in the United States.  We are primarially a Christian Household, though our oldest son has rejected all organized religion, the rest of us are Jehovah's Witnesses so sometimes we have a unity that is because of our unified faith. 

Sometimes peace returns to our lives because of our unified faith, but in a human way sometimes the stress overwhelms it.  That is where we really have to apply the lessons of 1st Timothy 6:8 about being satisfied with satisfied with sustainance and covering.  Sometimes it is just fine to want and strive for more, but if you cannot be satisfied with what you have then you can never find something that sates the beast...  it just consumes, and consumes leaving no contentment.  In the end we are all left with the decisions to pursue goals or not but if we are not satisfied with where you are then you end up caught a "just a little more" mentality never complete, never whole.  So this means to me that it is good to see how something has value, or benefit to you, but it is not necessary to own EVERY gadget, gizmo, widget, and doohicky that you will never use.  My wife and I own a blender, and a magic bullet, and we liberally use both the blender for bigger jobs, and the magic bullet for individual sized jobs.  But I admit that we did not buy the magic bullet it was given to us by someone who rarely used it (hadn't in years) and they gave it to us.  Funny but in a similar way it can sit for 4 to 6 months and never be used, and get used 10 to 12 times a week for 3 or 4 months and then it goes back on the shelf till the next spurt of time when is get used as if it was never put up.  It could be as long as a month, or even six befor it gets used again.  The point is I would still use just the blender if I didn't have the gadget it is a convience yes, but I could still be living happily without it.  I have achieved some measure of contentment.  That is a place you need to find before you consider the desire of the moment.

Well I guess that is all for now.

For those few of my followers who don't want to know what is really going on in my head/heart I would ignore this post...

<<RANT ON>>  I NEED for "my" adult children to be participants in this household.  I don't want them to leave or anything but they are old enough to be housemates instead of people who just store their stuff here.  I mean that as long as "my" (step) son has money to party and pay his other bills it is not going to matter one way or the other to him but he has hijacked the heater that belongs in the livingroom.  He left a load of laundry to go rancid in the washer.  Now he is 20 and I understand some foibles, but he bought a dog as an investment (yes he started breeding full blooded boxers), but he dosent carefully tend his investment.  My day usually starts at or arround 6am.  And when the animals wake up they are fed/watered/cared for including being walked.  I clean the dishes, and make tea (sweettea for y'all southern folks), and coffee.  When my wife wakes up and requests food, I am usually more than happy to make it.  I vaccuum the carpets in the livingroom, and sweep/mop the kitchen every couple of days but I am usually tending to the various animals (2 dogs and a cat) and by 4pm I expect the "children" to pick up the slack.  The youngest adult child in the house is 18 but she is going to High School, and I understand but she is home by 3 and I understand needing time to breathe.  "My" son goes off to work at three I believe that the last thing he should do before he goes to work is WALK HIS INVESTMENT (I mean dog).  I understand occassionally running late, but then he should be sure that arrangements are made to takecare of his investment.  Even if it was a text ...please walk Sparky... at least then I would feel respected.  It is nice to be asked insted to expected to "tend his garden for him"  I understand that I am retired/disabled but that doesn't mean to I am not worth something, and that the services I provide are at least a value to the household.  I understand that my wife is in a LOT of pain, but that is not to degrade to pain I feel 16+ times struck by a car as a child/young adult... two open heart surgeries... three strokes, and I am still existing.  I've been stabbed, I've been shot.  I am tired all the time I have recently been diagnosed with Narcolepsy so I fall asleep at the drop of a hat.  Anywho the point is the adult children of this household are well and sure enough capable of taking care of the neeeds of this house equally as partners working toard a goal of peace and harmony across the house.  Working TOGETHER. Well I guess I am burned out so I am off.  <<RANT OFF>>

So it has been a long hard road since July.  We (my family and I) thought that things had stabilized monitarilly, but alas it was not so, and topping it off with all the sillyness that has happened otherwise (which I will not expound on currently), well lets just suffice it to say that there is much to be said about pain clarifing the mind.  Three hospital stays, and numerous ERvisits not withstanding I am reasonably well.  I sometimes wish things were more stable at home, but funny how those things go.  It would really help if I were more stable (emotionally) but hey they tell me you can't have everything.  With all this said I am going to hope that having internet access at home will allow me to keep up this blog more faithfully.

Peace, and Love to all who wish for more, and may Jehovah guard us all in these Critical Times.

Finallly back online...

I have gone for more than half a year without access to internet.  Public access was even difficult, but then I was mostly trapped at home.  But now I am more regularly getting out and I can get from the house to the local public access.  My family is still surviving on a fixed income, but it is funny it has gone down since my wife was approved for disability, but at least she has income for life because her AFDC was running towards lifetime limits.  Well we will see how life evolves from here.  She is looking at two maybe three more surgeries.

That is all for now.  I have six months of emails to go through.

There is so much to say, but I have so little time to say it.  We have reached a time where we are living at our means.  The tire blew out on the car so we are walking.  The spare is crapped out so there are not many options, but not much mustard to spread around.  So I have to find two replacement tires one for the tire and one for the spare.  Well its almost three AM, so I am going to try to get to bed.

I can't believe what I did last night.  It was extraordinarily stupid on my part, but I thought it would bring relief to my pain.  I now know that nothing will relieve my pain, in fact it seems that there are new pains that may be permanent.  So we will see where it stands in the next couple of days.

There is so much I want to say, but as of yet I have not found the words for doing so.  So I won't barrage you with a lot of pretty words and pointless demeanors.  But, I was able to engineer time away from my time draining sims style gaming to just jot out a day or so of random thoughts.

I want to get back to writing fiction for publication...
maybe even go out on one of those writers retreats...
I also want to get writing for the pleasure of it (I have lost much of the pleasure of writing since my stroke about two years ago)...
I want to work on my keystroke speed (Hunt and peck will not get the next great American Novel written...
And, I wish my wife could tolerate me better...
Talking about wishes that will most likely not come true.

Well that is all I have to say for right now.
Blessings and Peace to all.

Life/Time Sucks

My family has lured me into a Timesuck of a game on facebook.  "CityVille" is a nice diversion if you like sims, which I happen to love despite their Life/Time draining capacity.  I have been known to spend all night playing Simcity 2000.  And "CityVille" has the same draining capacities.  But then it can be played on the cheap so it has its good qualities, though you can enhance your game with real cash, which you couldn't without using cheats on various sim type games (or buying expansion packs and then using expanded cheats on them).  I am currently listening to Journey on YouTube. If you like sims just friend me on facebook (wonderingwanderr) and become my neighbor in CityVille. 

Peace to you and yours in these troubled times,
Michael

There is so much I want to do with this blog site, but with life and children, and everything that has been going on at the house it has been a little difficult to keep this site properly updated.  I am going to try to be more vigilant in my writings all across my life.  It should boil over into my blog

Buying Newspapers

My wife buys at least one newspaper a week, two or three based on how many coupons there are in the paper that week.  She also buys a magazine called ALL YOU, which usually has between 30 and 50 dollars worth of useful coupons inside which well more than ofsets its cost (which is around 5 dollars).  It is just one of the ways we stretch our meager shopping dollars.

worried

Worried about the state of my family.  Despite my best efforts I have not been able to avoid pissing off my wife.  I am almost desparate.  I have been able to try to avoid pissing off my wife, but then I am without trying.  I am working hard to appease my wife, but in the end I am aggravating her.  We will see if things get any better in the coming weeks.

That is all for now....

Economic Sinkholes - Part 4

Another place where people tend to waste a great deal of money is in the area of Gourmet Coffee.  The average American spends between 8 and 9 dollars each time they go to the Coffee Shop.  With caffeine fiends filling up an average of 46 times a year, It adds up to over 300 dollars a year spent on coffee.  For daily drinkers the bill can add up to thousands.

This daily habit can be sated and a fraction of the cost by brewing coffee at home.  The average cup of coffee brewed at home costs pennies.

Not only are they bad for your health, but they are also a cancer on your pocketbook.

Americans spend approximately 80 billion on cigarettes each year according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Some financial analysts say their average client spends 70 dollars a week or 280 dollars a month on cigarettes.  One client quit when an analyst told him he could save 320 a month (including savings on his health insurance).  He used the savings to buy a new car.

If you simply cannot ditch the habit, there are cheaper alternatives such as buying in bulk.

Well I just got home...

Well I just got home 10 days ago from a three week hospital stay, and EVERYTHING has been bonkers chaotic.  I just wish things would settle down. 

Economic Sinkholes - Part 3

In my previous two articles I spoke of common economic sandtraps, or sinkholes we all commonly find ourselves in wether it be the Scratch Off Lottery, or Infomercial Impulse Purchases, or buying Brand-Name Groceries, or Unused Gym Memberships.  We all at one time or another find ourselves involved in habits that are economically unhealthy.  Here are two more habits we may want to avoid.

 “Bundled” Services.  We are all often tempted by the “limited time” offers that come with Bundled Services.  Discounts if you buy the 500 channel package, or unlimited text messaging for just X more dollars.  But, is it really a value if you never watch those channels, or use those text messages.

People will most often just pick a package they think they can afford, and not go back and check that package against their usage.  It is often that people will pay 100 dollars for the silver or gold package when they are only using 50 dollars worth, and could do with a smaller package.

 Using the closest ATM instead of your banks ATM could cost you as much as 5 dollars in ATM fees on top of the fees your individual bank may charge for “out of network usage.”

Your banks ATM probably won’t cost you a cent.

You could possibly fill your gas tank with the savings.  It is said that the average consumer will make between 5 and ten unnecessary ATM transactions a month.  The fees  adding up to 40 or 50 dollars a month or almost 500 dollars a year.  50 dollars can fill your gas tank now a days.

And, to see my previous blogs you can follow this link.  http://michael-conway.blogspot.com/2011/06/economic-sinkholes-part-2.html

Recovering

I am sitting at home recovering from my recent dance with the Hospital.  I am pretty sure they wanted to keep me alive, but the food was not what was telling me that.  In fact the food made me wonder if they wanted me dead.  But, that aside I had a bout with heat stroke, and WAY too thin blood.  I am on blood thinners so I am not suprized that my blood was thin, but I was suprized by HOW thin my blood had gotten.  It took nearly two weeks to get it back to thereputic from just one small dose of vitamin K.  It was well over 5.5 which is way too thin, I could bleed out from a simple bruise.  The 105 degree heat when I tried to mow the lawn didn't help anything.  Both things together conspired to place me in the hospital.  I spent 2 1/2 days there.  I am mostly better now, but at least I'm home.